Insidious Adaptation

When it all comes down, and all the things of this life, the accolades, the accomplishments, the desire for more, more money, more retirement, more wealth, no longer mattering, no longer allowing to define a man on a sinking ship, I think it will only be then that we can see what really mattered the entire time. Give thanks to the God of heaven, for  his steadfast love endures forever . -   Psalm 136:26   When a day comes, there are no accomplishments, there is no great writing for the day, no awesome gym workout, the clothes don't fit like they used to, old photos are nothing more than reminder of previous youthful looks, negating the happy times they were indicated for, we are still loved. No matter what the social group, the status quo is, if we fail to meet it, we can relax because we are loved. We are loved no matter what we do. We are loved when we screw up. We are loved when our hair is a mess, or we wear the improper clothing items to the work event. We...

"The feels," given permission to take over as hormones are reason enough to indulge our desires. As though we have no control of who drives the car, only that we are in the passenger seat and we pray for no crash, or at least airbags if we do. Kids are having sex. Sadly I did, too young. I was too immature, not ready for the what I was giving up. No value to myself, only for others to see me as equal. Wanting to fit in with the world, a social group, peers, to discuss in the locker room with detail now, for this is what we do right? How we make sense of our actions, by measuring against those around us? It was dark, too dark, for neither of us wanted to see what was going on. I prayed for it to end, just to be done, for if I could have gotten a reprieve from this act and still claimed to have done it, I would have. The sex was not wanted, but to claim I had sex, for I couldn't go to college a virgin. A dark room, an adolescent kid, practice putting on a condom in re...

The sun creeps in and out of the clouds, shining down through the breaks in an otherwise dismal appearance. The ground's saturation, remnants of last night's rainfall. The promise and confirmation off what those dark, lingering clouds mean for the day. All mere backdrops of a billboard to a new sports store opening up in town.  The billboard is nothing spectacular, actually interesting. A few Nebraska Cornhusker fans, oh, and did I mention today is the funeral of Senator and War Hero John McCain start of college football. More specifically, the Nebraska Cornhuskers and their famed return of the prodigal son, Scott Frost. A reminder of leadership as opposed to pompous presentation. A reminder that athletes, no matter how prominent, no matter how talented, follow true leadership. Ask Michael Jordan what he has to say about Phil Jackson.  Leaders, lead.  This isn't about that though, as much as I thew that in for relevancy. For context to the billboard. The young ...

Play. I had half a mind to leave the page blank, allow for artistic interpretation to the emptiness that very few things offer these days. To have some sentence at the end about what to make of your own blank page, your own life's purpose etc. However, I decided instead to provoke. When was the last time you allowed the mind to wander? When was the last time you didn't stop or try to control the thoughts? When was the last time you were allowed to actually daydream? I feel sometimes that the phone, the thumbprint, the scroll, the 5-10 minutes wasted, and then the rush to catch back up on work or be present with children, or try to catch back up on the conversation you were missing, prevents us from doing so. I feel as though the mind's ability to be, and explore, no longer exists as it once has. Now, sitting, dreaming, and getting nothing accomplished are not warranted in this world either, nor would that be fulfilling, but everything in the world now seems a way to...

A squirrel runs up a tree, a scattering of tiny claws on bark. Another one closely follows. Ah, a chase is what is happening here. The mind makes a little story, there must be mating involved, maybe a fight. Maybe, that squirrel is a child and there is play. Do squirrels play?  The edges of the mouth, their familiar patters, the lips stretch across the front, curl up at the ends. Cheeks seem to have less room now, and in combination with eye muscles tightening, they are both lifted and pushed out. The face of innocence, for the mind allowed itself to wander to a dimension of childlike wonder. We could turn this into a nature lesson, gain understanding about how squires work, after all my phone is in my pocket and google is pretty efficient. However, no, this moment will stay just like this. Plus, I don’t care that much. “Uh, I can’t do it, it’s broken.” Screams a child doing in her mind what she was told. “Sweetheart, just push down,” As dad lifts his own foot and pushes on th...

Like a piece of meat in a pool of sharks. Nashing, bodying, pushing, insufficient altruism, yet no contempt, simply survival. The human male is worse, for we have the knowhow, the insight, to know that   when we harm or bully another for something they have or a resource we all want, it can get personal. Sorry Larry. This one's mine.  Like a girl in the gym, sports bra, toned midsection, tight, trendy yoga pants accenting all features of self, men clamoring, trying to vie for the affection, but attention will suffice. Every man has their reason, some for lust, strictly sexual, others for attention, for if this apparently confident and attractive girl is interested in me, she might fulfill what I don’t see in myself. Other men want to show for other men and be the dominant one, the one to gain the attention of the quietly-agreed upon head lioness. The difference between Animal Planet and the Real World, is intent. Man’s intent is not to merely mate, despite the argument ...

A bowl of oatmeal, a few eggs, this is what I chose to eat this morning before heading to the gym. A few cups of coffee, because, well, let's be honest, I am up earlier than I should be. Being tired is not a foreign concept to me, for I have either woken up early, or stayed up too late for much of my life. As many people do, I rely on what "science" tells me to do, to help remedy these problems. As a child I wanted to be better than what I was, and eventually into adulthood, I wanted to just be better than. I wanted people to think I was smart, for "look what I told you." I wanted people to like me, but more importantly, look up to me, for I was presenting as a smart person, something I always feared I wasn't. I wanted you to see everything about me that I couldn't see. I was able to take something concrete-ish like nutritional information, and provide that to people with my own unique insight to relate, to comfort, ultimately to persuade you that I ...

Like a box of generic cereal, a title too literal to misunderstand. Instead of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, we have us some sugar and cinnamon squares. Instead of Trix Cereal, we have fruity flavored balls (artificial of course). Instead of Frosted Flakes, we have Frosty Flakes (this one not so different). The words don't leave much to the imagination and are at a cheap price. At least when I hear Boo Berries there is a slight inquisition, an investment,  to buy the product, as opposed to the fruity flavored marshmallow corn cereal (not real). The second gives me exactly what I wanted to know and now don't have to do any searching. Online these days one can find anything they want. From online sales, to researching Saved by the Bell, The College Years , as I recently may or may not have done. Maybe you want to book a flight, or maybe you want to order a human through some, "backpage" website. Maybe you want to steal money, or invest in a currency unknown by most people....

Wars around the world, gun violence occurring in the schools, financial decline, famine continuing in 3rd world countries, pollution, global warming, decline of the family structure, on and on. I like to get the, "bad" news out, therefore the, "good" can be put into context. Out of these problems the world faces, in the hardest of times, there is one pure feeling that remains, one indescribable thing that can make it all worth while, love. Oh, what a daunting task to take on this word, for to talk about love means one has experienced it, felt it, allowed it to wash over them drowning out the pain, sorrow, fear. This wave consuming an entire being causing them to feel both the rush and the indescribable high unlike anything else this world offers. By, "this world" I mean here and now, for it is different for everyone, assumptions, perceptions, a life lived, all making experiences different, yet, the need to stay connected with one another, a need from God...