Insidious Adaptation

Never have I ever sat in my house, listening to the latest beats, raised my hands, and start jumping around the living room, repeating the words that I knew of the chorus. Never, have I felt the need to get intoxicated to the point of not remembering anything while sitting at my kitchen table, eating stale popcorn from the day before. Never have I contemplated breaking a guys face while laying in bed at night prior to sleep. Never have I done these things, for they are absurd. Absurd only in context however. Absurd because there is nobody there. In all instances the thought never even crossed my mind to do any of those things, because by oneself, they make absolutely no sense. Even a few evenings in the early 20's I recall looking up to see myself reflected back from the mirrors on the dance floor of a local bar. I recall thinking, even in whatever state of mind I was in at the time, this is weird . Now, I can only imagine those same abrupt moves in my living room, sober, at 11AM...

The chemistry of fat is that of a carbon chain, up to 24, with Hydrogen attached. Saturated fats mean that all the Carbon elements are attached to each other with a single bond and the element is, "saturated" with Hydrogen. This is different than, mono, or poly unsaturated fats  in which, in one location (mono) there is a carbon to carbon double bond and a lack of hydrogen, or multiple areas, (poly) where this same thing occurs. Click Here for a whole bunch of info. The difference in each of these chemical structures isn't the elements involved, but the amount and strength of bonds that are involved that makes the difference. Carbon, Hydrogen, Nitrogen, in their elemental forms are the basis for all organic material and are not poisonous. However, in the right concentration or combination, kill a human with ease. The carbon to carbon bond, when the valence electrons combine with the nearest carbon in a chain of them rather than a hydrogen, does a completely different t...

The coolest guy I ever knew was a senior in high school when I was.a freshman. He was the quarterback for the football team, good looking, also had one of the hottest girls in high school as his girlfriend, at the time seemed larger than life, and he was a pretty nice guy as well. Deservingly so, I was, "bullied" in my first year in high school, to the defense of the perpetrators, I had a mouth and was of a larger build, so I may have deserved it. This guy did not give me any of this sort of attention, he had other things to do, he was just smooth and anytime I talked with him, seemed respectful, but yet, still cool. This guy went on to play football at a small, liberal arts college and I had ran into him throughout life since, he has seemed to maintain that, "coolness," I so looked up to as an inadequate youth, now as an inadequate adult. What is it about a, "cool" person that makes them so? Like, even as I was describing him, reflecting back on act...

Seeing and feeling the hurt in one's eyes is a gift some say, an empath is what I have read, the ability to connect and feel what another person feels at a heightened level. This, something I have done since childhood, without awareness that other people don't naturally do this, or understand other people in that way. I can look back over the foundation of my own perspective in life and see that I was always adapting to what I perceived other people felt or wanted and therefore led me to being "liked" in many ways. The problem was and still is, is that people only like what is presented without actually liking me. The hardest thing one can do is to understand that other people think and perceive differently than they do. I was always influenced by why certain people did things, why they were able just to be, "cool," and it wasn't something I could just mimic. In high school, I had a friend named Eric, he was popular, and good at sports, and well, ju...