Insidious Adaptation

On a September day in 1985, a joker was born. A humorous attempt at being liked, not to serve others with his humor, however to receive their admiration for it.  jest·er ˈjestər/ noun HISTORICAL a professional joker or “fool” at a medieval court, typically wearing a cap with bells on it and carrying a mock scepter. synonyms: fool , court fool, court jester,  clown ,  harlequin ,  pantaloon ;  More a person who habitually plays the fool. It is the intent of man to which we can measure their success. If a man wants to be rich to hoard riches, then that is who he is. If a man's wants a business to grow a business and provide for many employees in a work environment he influences, then that is who HE is. A person who makes themselves a fool for another to laugh, noble. Where as I, at my most-selfish, most ignorant to the needs of those around me, wanted you to laugh at me, for that showed you notice...

If all experienced God in the same way and returned Him an identical worship, the song of the Church triumphant would have no symphony, it would be like an orchestra in which all the instruments played the same note. - C.S. Lewis, The problem of Pain The Old Testament, full of grotesque stories, wretched, horrible incidents, sacrifice, killing, animal sacrifice and many, many verses dedicated to the specific way and how and where to atone for wrong against the Law set forth by God himself. The Old Testament, as I see it now, was in fact, about sacrifice. I will venture a bit further and state that the entire Bible, human existence actually, is about human sacrifice. A preacher ordained in theology can break down certain sections of the historically accurate text known as the Bible. There are many intricacies and contextual components about the time and history of the timeline laid out. There are pieces that are read and read again, only to have them make sense at one time more...

It is the hopeless that need hope, for the optimists have it all figured out right? Like, would we listen to those who maintain a positive regard? Would we want a song about love, where everything worked out, the happy ending, the positive self getting all the stuff they ever wanted? Boring. That isn't worthy of our time. We need pain. We need to feel something and happiness is taken for granted. Get in touch with your spirituality, the fact that life here is temporary and that there is only room for love, removes a lot of pain. Unfortunately, art without pain, without sacrifice, is shallow. Optimism, positivity, they are good for self-help books, but for the real sellers, we need to have us some discomfort. There is hope in Jesus, he died for us after all. The original superhero, for no other Marvel Character did what he did, even in their fictional tales. We no longer live in the pain of death, we are now saved. Say that again using logic. It is as logical as the sun settin...

Risk it all, for the likelihood of getting caught is small, right? What drives a man to even ask? Is it God, his principals, long-standing beliefs he would die for? Is it a self-sacrifice where the whims of desire fall short to convictions? Or, is he driven strictly by selfish desires, fueling the mind to feast on something that it was never meant to. Lust doesn't always look like this... This isn’t to say that good men don’t have wandering eyes or minds, but that they become aware and know where that goes. The good men are humble enough to admit fault and do something about it. The good men are able to understand that it is painful and a lot of work to stay convicted and live according to these principles, however it is everything they stand for and to give in, means giving in on self. A man without his beliefs is nothing at all. It isn’t the wandering, nor is it the environment, but the possibility that lingers. Looking at a woman on a magazine cover, beautiful, sultry, pre...

Reaching for the air in a sea of raging water. Like wind-torn, sheets smacking against my face. White caps into waves into a drowning pound of Poseidon’s Trident. I know that air is what I need. I know that what I feel is legit. I know that I am doing the best I can, but this dark mass beneath my chin, upholding and at times consuming my body, scares me. At times the water is calm and I am floating above it, relaxed, balanced. The fear of being swallowed whole lingers even in as another wave passes. It is times like these my questions of life's purpose are fueled. I can’t help but ponder in the midst of animosity, negative and condescending tones of other people in the room that what I am doing is wrong and that what happens when they figure out I don’t belong here. I want to eat my emotions as I leave the stuffy room of passive-aggressive peoples, more as I get to the comfort of my own mind where I no longer have to present. I no longer have to nod nor do I have to sit there with...