Insidious Adaptation

One must realize that we invest in the worst investment ever when we toil away to make money. Yes, money is the worst investment out there, and that is not because I do not have any, but because what I do have can only buy things of this world. Like fun money at an amusement park, I don't really need a lot because I won't be here long. I figure maybe a few bucks here and there, get something to eat, something drink, sustain myself. Overall, the park will close, and I will go home, why be left with a bunch of worthless pieces of garbage along the way for someone else to pick up. The turmoil over money is one I am very familiar with and thought would save me one day. Yes, one day a yacht was going to show up at my house and take my family and I away to a different world. One where I would then be content and I would then be generous and then I could be the peaceful father depicted on the TV commercials and sit com shows. A lie I was sold on as the greed for more money leads...

"Noooooo!" Screams an almost 3-year old 2-feet from her father's face. "Yes!" Father concedes to the game.  "No daddy!" She is in control now.  "Hey, we are getting this shirt on because I said so." Because, well, I said so, and I am an adult right, so I must know best, father knows best, right?  The game all parents are familiar with, a tug-of-war in words, where a child's ability to take on all possibilities of a situation, including downright refusal, exposes a parent's weakness.  "Look, a butterfly." As she picks her cup up, distracting either herself, or dad, neither of us really know.  "Sweetheart." Dad is calmer now. "We have to get dressed, we don't want to be naked do we?" Yes, rhetorical questioning because, duh, right?  Wrong.  "Daddy, I want milk." She asks, and my first thought is, where is that milk? Only to come right back to, hey, wait a minut...

At one time it was one of the most viewed YouTube videos; a boy and his baby brother playing around and then the baby brother, Charlie, really bites down on his older brother's hand. Watch it Here. Much like in my own experience, a baby's first teeth, and the unexpected force of the jaw are something that go from a pleasure, to a pain, too quick to plan for. Unlike the teeth of a puppy, the razor sharp daggers that break through the skin and an unexpected chomp on a arm, resulting in a smack to the face or butt as a reminder not to bite, we cannot do the same with kids. When a child bites us we have to be so aware of our bodies that we don't smack the kid as a response to stop pain. How many times are we hurting from a child to have a knee jerk reaction to hurt them to save us. Our intent would not be to hurt them, as much as we are trying to avoid pain ourselves. A mother's nipple as a child latches on, and as the pain of breastfeeding only worsened by the form...

What I used to see. "Dude, you're a big guy." A passer-by at the gym, a man whom I've never seen before. Thanks, but you've got no idea what goes on in my head . My thoughts resonate into, "Thanks man." A reluctant response these days. "Yea but when I was your age, I was like twice your size." His response. ...and there it is. What you see is not what you get, not when it comes to how a person looks anyways. Quite honestly, this goes deeper, but I want to stay here for a moment. I want to stay on the surface, the cover of the book, what we see other people as. I am reminded occasionally by my daughter, who appears to view her cousins, who happen to be identical twins, as two completely different people. The adults stammer about as these girls must cater to us when we get the name wrong, as though each day we have to be reintroduced. My daughter is given a gift to give to one, the adults cross their fingers as she starts walking to...

The need of a body to displace what is already being digested, or what has been mostly digested, happens at a speed incomprehensible to man. We can never fully measure the time from when one feels a, “sickness” coming on, to the point of discharge from the body. We can assume that this is relatively quick, for if this happened over a lengthy period time, we would always be in a convenient place when the body chose to get rid of its material. A child’s system is small, small in stature, supposedly small in quantities, but quicker, more efficient than us adults. As we get older we tend to slow in our abilities. Not just reflexes or ability to obtain knowledge, but in how efficient the system runs overall. When a child’s speed is utilized to discharge matter from its fragile being, there is no preparation, for the wave will come and the aftermath is felt by all. As the warm material submersed in a stringy, snot-like goo was expelled onto the side of my face, dripping down my shirt o...

Looking from the outside, a father whose perspective is altered, for no longer is the world simply, “the world,” but, "a problem." In childhood, the development is selfish, egocentric, for the idea of altruism is not yet firm. The concept is within us all, after all, we are human, connected at our most basic principles, however the environment promotes that which we will not see in ourselves until old enough to resent it. I was raised to be productive, now I cannot stop. I was raised to love my brothers, when is all I learned was how to present and resent them. I was raised to believe in Christ, yet that man I thought I knew then, not even a tip of the iceberg.  Patience, understanding, empathy, all virtues that have an expiration date inside an agenda.  I now know Him better, long to be close to Him, be like Him, work for Him, for the worship and education about Him is fundamental, nothing new there. What shines through me the most is from what I learned in childhood,...

What is it about the naked human body that we deem such a, "thing?" I believe there are people who try and pretend to make it less significant, determined to make all places nude, where a beach is no longer for serpents in the sea, where the grocery store’s banana and melon sections could be on the move, where the dinner’s napkins and bibs more crucial as the soufflé comes out as the sales of baked Alaskans decrease significantly. I believe that besides the novelty that these same people are pretending exists, they feel the most comfort clothed, and there is a shock factor involved, a sort of “look at me, I am free, unlike you clothed, ‘restrained’ people." However, the body is not necessarily the most comforted clothed. Why? The Bible is why. Genesis is why. Being naked from the dawn of the fallen man, an indicator of significance.  The latest fads could have been merely ways to shave the body’s hair, or a tattoo, for which if the latter went out of style, much li...

A slip of the phone, a smack on the ground, a prayer sent out, I hope it isn't broken. "Gosh Dangit!" Said without thought, a learned replacement and months of practice to prevent the ears of a 2-year-old from experiencing further, more harsh reactions. "Goshdangit" She repeats me, reinforcing my efforts. In these moments, I cannot help but be a little proud of myself for my child's response, or at the least, her recognition of mine. I slip into nostalgia of past days when a curse word flew off my tongue like specks of dust swirling about as an untouched piece of furniture is moved. The words, for they were fun to say, the F***, the S***s, others almost embarrassing to admit to, all dangling in a toolbox of "sentence enhancers," awaiting my use. That was then, before a child, before hearing myself through the ears of another for the excessive quantity was juvenile. I now WANT to use goofy words to curse a random dropping of a phone or hitti...