Charlie Bit My Finger...
At one time it was one of the most viewed YouTube videos; a boy and his baby brother playing around and then the baby brother, Charlie, really bites down on his older brother's hand. Watch it Here.
Much like in my own experience, a baby's first teeth, and the unexpected force of the jaw are something that go from a pleasure, to a pain, too quick to plan for. Unlike the teeth of a puppy, the razor sharp daggers that break through the skin and an unexpected chomp on a arm, resulting in a smack to the face or butt as a reminder not to bite, we cannot do the same with kids.
When a child bites us we have to be so aware of our bodies that we don't smack the kid as a response to stop pain. How many times are we hurting from a child to have a knee jerk reaction to hurt them to save us. Our intent would not be to hurt them, as much as we are trying to avoid pain ourselves.
A mother's nipple as a child latches on, and as the pain of breastfeeding only worsened by the formation of teeth remind us of the amazing things we can do when we are in love. When we have this deeper empathy, this understanding of the innocence of intent, we are less hurt than when someone who does so maliciously hurts us. A malicious act provokes another feeling altogether, and our reactions show what we think by how we respond.
Let's say I am at the gym, a guy takes a seat I was just on. Now, if he saw me sitting there and took it because he thinks it was a first come first serve basis, I would consider that inconsiderate. I would be more apt to be rude back as a result of him taking something to my knowledge he knew was mine. Now, let's say I go to get a drink, someone talks to me by the treadmills, and a few minutes pass and a guy is sitting on my seat. This one was my fault, for I did leave the seat a while, and he wanted to use it. What about if someone comes and pushes me out of the seat and I am laying on the ground, getting laughed at by other gym members? Ah, see, now a reaction will ensue. No matter the specifics of an incident, I lost my seat, however it was the motive as I understood it, that makes things acceptable or not.
Our initial thoughts shows our values through our reactions, no matter how much we try to alter them. We value the delicacy of children and do not smack their face when they bite us. We value the inconvenience of having to be that guy in the gym looking for a seat. We value money going to the places we intended, we value authenticity.
Being malicious is not an authentic self, it is a part of self, but the acknowledgment and follow through on an act intended to harm someone for no other reason than to simply do it, illogical. Yes, we may hurt one another from time to time, but we have to gain something from it, otherwise we are breaking down the entire structure, society as we know it when we harm just to do it.
We can't keep smacking people because they hurt us, nothing would ever get done. At some point we have to check our values, our egos, by what we show others. Sometimes we do get bit, sometimes we are the biter, yet, when we take these inventories of ourselves and understand some underlying feelings, it can literally change our initial response.
Examples can be seen all the time, and are typically in what we didn't do, versus what we did. Not every time we are cut off in traffic do we chase the guy down, yell at him, and threaten his family's life. Hopefully none of the time, but why not? What stops us from "righting the wrong" in the world and taking matters into our own hands? Does anything prevent me from hurting you if you hurt me first? Yes, our own morals and values that stop an entire World War III every time we are unfairly treated by people, or worse, the universe, as some people like to see it.
We will get bit. We are going to get hurt. We are going to lose to someone less qualified, we aren't going to be, "the best" for there is always a prodigy somewhere that is waiting to take us down. Our values and underlying emotions seem to come out when the scab of superficial responses is picked. It is in these moments of impact that the underlying justification occurs to either scream that Charlie (the world) bit us feeling the pain but stopping a more hurtful response, or take matters into our own hands to smack whatever is causing us pain.
A way to be aware of underlying behaviors is to go through the next time you recognize you said or did something hurtful to a person and ask yourself why? I know for myself in many cases why I think or say something negative is usually out of hurt emotions. Hurt can be driven by expectation, like when I expect people understand or will automatically like me. I also get hurt due to my own evaluation. I sometimes feel that I am not enough and that whatever I do in life is worthless. On those days I would be more likely to respond, however, awareness prevents me from allowing those quick responses.
What do you notice about yourself?
Castle-Broken: When appearances are everything, available on Amazon. A book on Muscle Dysmorphia and my past experiences with abuse to the body, obsession with the gym, appearance, and what treatment methods are available. Click Here.
God Bless.
Much like in my own experience, a baby's first teeth, and the unexpected force of the jaw are something that go from a pleasure, to a pain, too quick to plan for. Unlike the teeth of a puppy, the razor sharp daggers that break through the skin and an unexpected chomp on a arm, resulting in a smack to the face or butt as a reminder not to bite, we cannot do the same with kids.
When a child bites us we have to be so aware of our bodies that we don't smack the kid as a response to stop pain. How many times are we hurting from a child to have a knee jerk reaction to hurt them to save us. Our intent would not be to hurt them, as much as we are trying to avoid pain ourselves.
A mother's nipple as a child latches on, and as the pain of breastfeeding only worsened by the formation of teeth remind us of the amazing things we can do when we are in love. When we have this deeper empathy, this understanding of the innocence of intent, we are less hurt than when someone who does so maliciously hurts us. A malicious act provokes another feeling altogether, and our reactions show what we think by how we respond.
Let's say I am at the gym, a guy takes a seat I was just on. Now, if he saw me sitting there and took it because he thinks it was a first come first serve basis, I would consider that inconsiderate. I would be more apt to be rude back as a result of him taking something to my knowledge he knew was mine. Now, let's say I go to get a drink, someone talks to me by the treadmills, and a few minutes pass and a guy is sitting on my seat. This one was my fault, for I did leave the seat a while, and he wanted to use it. What about if someone comes and pushes me out of the seat and I am laying on the ground, getting laughed at by other gym members? Ah, see, now a reaction will ensue. No matter the specifics of an incident, I lost my seat, however it was the motive as I understood it, that makes things acceptable or not.Our initial thoughts shows our values through our reactions, no matter how much we try to alter them. We value the delicacy of children and do not smack their face when they bite us. We value the inconvenience of having to be that guy in the gym looking for a seat. We value money going to the places we intended, we value authenticity.
Being malicious is not an authentic self, it is a part of self, but the acknowledgment and follow through on an act intended to harm someone for no other reason than to simply do it, illogical. Yes, we may hurt one another from time to time, but we have to gain something from it, otherwise we are breaking down the entire structure, society as we know it when we harm just to do it.
We can't keep smacking people because they hurt us, nothing would ever get done. At some point we have to check our values, our egos, by what we show others. Sometimes we do get bit, sometimes we are the biter, yet, when we take these inventories of ourselves and understand some underlying feelings, it can literally change our initial response.
Examples can be seen all the time, and are typically in what we didn't do, versus what we did. Not every time we are cut off in traffic do we chase the guy down, yell at him, and threaten his family's life. Hopefully none of the time, but why not? What stops us from "righting the wrong" in the world and taking matters into our own hands? Does anything prevent me from hurting you if you hurt me first? Yes, our own morals and values that stop an entire World War III every time we are unfairly treated by people, or worse, the universe, as some people like to see it.
We will get bit. We are going to get hurt. We are going to lose to someone less qualified, we aren't going to be, "the best" for there is always a prodigy somewhere that is waiting to take us down. Our values and underlying emotions seem to come out when the scab of superficial responses is picked. It is in these moments of impact that the underlying justification occurs to either scream that Charlie (the world) bit us feeling the pain but stopping a more hurtful response, or take matters into our own hands to smack whatever is causing us pain.
A way to be aware of underlying behaviors is to go through the next time you recognize you said or did something hurtful to a person and ask yourself why? I know for myself in many cases why I think or say something negative is usually out of hurt emotions. Hurt can be driven by expectation, like when I expect people understand or will automatically like me. I also get hurt due to my own evaluation. I sometimes feel that I am not enough and that whatever I do in life is worthless. On those days I would be more likely to respond, however, awareness prevents me from allowing those quick responses.
What do you notice about yourself?
Castle-Broken: When appearances are everything, available on Amazon. A book on Muscle Dysmorphia and my past experiences with abuse to the body, obsession with the gym, appearance, and what treatment methods are available. Click Here.God Bless.
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