Shhh...
(beep) (beep) (beep)
Hurry, where is that button, I don't want to wake the house up.
My first thought of the day is about how I inconvenience the others in the house. My wife lays sleeping next to me even though I would assume she heard. My daughter in the next room, sleeping, as indicated to me by the lack of a lit-up screen notifying me of her every move.
I check the phone.
The light of the screen pierces my eyes. An abrasion that my logical mind reminds me is bad for me. Nonetheless.
Jeeze, she moves around so much.
My thoughts as I look to the notifications stacked on my screen from throughout the night.
I sit up on the side of the bed, say my prayers for the day and a brief thought enters my head of how if my wife did wake up, she would see me just sitting here, probably looking still asleep.
Or, maybe she knows by now.
As the feet hit the floor, the debate is over. I am up now. The thick carpet supports my sore feet. The muscles in the legs all get their use right off the bat, some having to overcompensate for other, sorer muscles. Everyday I am sore, maybe just stiff, for the feeling does tend to go away as I make my way towards the stairs, even though a few brief seconds exist where going down is a very real possibility.
Once down stairs, making my way down the creaks of the old wooden staircase, I press the button for the pre-set coffee to start, let the dogs outside, seeing their race every morning into the back yard in hope of catching some animal off guard, I make some oatmeal, and drink some water.
The routine is monotonous, yet, never complacent. The actions are all intentional and I want them to be efficient. I do not wake up at 3:15 to linger. I want to read while I eat, finish chewing while I am putting my clothes on, make sure the coffee is strong enough to get going but not too strong to ruin any caffeine buzz later in the day or a headache now. I make sure that the dogs have food, for I did not wake up to do other's chores, but to do what I feel led to do, which yes, could be chores.
After reading through scripture I head downstairs to write a bit. Every entrance into my basement office, a reminder of work to be done. Not just on the screen as the excitement of what will come out next engulfs me, or as the same amount of energy supplied in excitement hinders this excitement preventing pride or vainglory form existing here, but excitement in doing, striving, creating something that will never technically be done.
I pound away on the keys for a while, however I am not present when I do, it is work to allow the pathway from what enters my mind to come out on paper. Some of the things I wrote I swear I plagiarize for how the heck I came up with some sentence combinations, word usage, and analogies is beyond me, truly.
The words end, the lights go off, and I am off to the gym for as much physical exertion as I have had mental thus far. Workouts for mind and body. Progress towards a larger goal of a more efficient me later in the day.
What we do, what all of us choose to spend any micro-speck of energy on, whether it be in thought or action, makes us either more efficient or less in the future. My prayer is that the routine above makes me more efficient, not for superficial reasons like looks or money, but for communication, empathy, love, resilience to hate. I have to run my mind through a mental boot camp every day to make sure that I am progressing into an efficient person who loves, allows others to make their choices, my daughter included, and in doing these things retrains my brain to let go of the perceived control I think I have.
How audacious.
Revisit your time, if it isn't getting you towards what you want, then is it really worth the grains of sand spent as the hourglass starts to have more in the bottom, than in the top?
Castle-Broken: When appearances are everything, available on Amazon. A book about inefficient, body image disorders, where one who struggles to look the best, wastes all their time, energy, resources in trying to do so.
Click Here.
God Bless.
Hurry, where is that button, I don't want to wake the house up.
My first thought of the day is about how I inconvenience the others in the house. My wife lays sleeping next to me even though I would assume she heard. My daughter in the next room, sleeping, as indicated to me by the lack of a lit-up screen notifying me of her every move.
I check the phone.
The light of the screen pierces my eyes. An abrasion that my logical mind reminds me is bad for me. Nonetheless.
My thoughts as I look to the notifications stacked on my screen from throughout the night.
I sit up on the side of the bed, say my prayers for the day and a brief thought enters my head of how if my wife did wake up, she would see me just sitting here, probably looking still asleep.
Or, maybe she knows by now.
As the feet hit the floor, the debate is over. I am up now. The thick carpet supports my sore feet. The muscles in the legs all get their use right off the bat, some having to overcompensate for other, sorer muscles. Everyday I am sore, maybe just stiff, for the feeling does tend to go away as I make my way towards the stairs, even though a few brief seconds exist where going down is a very real possibility.
Once down stairs, making my way down the creaks of the old wooden staircase, I press the button for the pre-set coffee to start, let the dogs outside, seeing their race every morning into the back yard in hope of catching some animal off guard, I make some oatmeal, and drink some water.
The routine is monotonous, yet, never complacent. The actions are all intentional and I want them to be efficient. I do not wake up at 3:15 to linger. I want to read while I eat, finish chewing while I am putting my clothes on, make sure the coffee is strong enough to get going but not too strong to ruin any caffeine buzz later in the day or a headache now. I make sure that the dogs have food, for I did not wake up to do other's chores, but to do what I feel led to do, which yes, could be chores.
After reading through scripture I head downstairs to write a bit. Every entrance into my basement office, a reminder of work to be done. Not just on the screen as the excitement of what will come out next engulfs me, or as the same amount of energy supplied in excitement hinders this excitement preventing pride or vainglory form existing here, but excitement in doing, striving, creating something that will never technically be done.I pound away on the keys for a while, however I am not present when I do, it is work to allow the pathway from what enters my mind to come out on paper. Some of the things I wrote I swear I plagiarize for how the heck I came up with some sentence combinations, word usage, and analogies is beyond me, truly.
The words end, the lights go off, and I am off to the gym for as much physical exertion as I have had mental thus far. Workouts for mind and body. Progress towards a larger goal of a more efficient me later in the day.
What we do, what all of us choose to spend any micro-speck of energy on, whether it be in thought or action, makes us either more efficient or less in the future. My prayer is that the routine above makes me more efficient, not for superficial reasons like looks or money, but for communication, empathy, love, resilience to hate. I have to run my mind through a mental boot camp every day to make sure that I am progressing into an efficient person who loves, allows others to make their choices, my daughter included, and in doing these things retrains my brain to let go of the perceived control I think I have.
How audacious.
Revisit your time, if it isn't getting you towards what you want, then is it really worth the grains of sand spent as the hourglass starts to have more in the bottom, than in the top?
Castle-Broken: When appearances are everything, available on Amazon. A book about inefficient, body image disorders, where one who struggles to look the best, wastes all their time, energy, resources in trying to do so.Click Here.
God Bless.
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