How to Live a Better Life (Part 2)

The flatter lands outside of the Black Hills are full of culture. A culture that from my perspective and one that was made aware to me by a client I had years ago, is ultimately broken. It wasn’t just the free street dance a family of three eastern Nebraskaners wandered into, it wasn’t just the varying Casinos as soon as we entered the South Dakota border, it wasn’t just the faulty, cardboard cutout front of shiny buildings and what was sold as progress in varying areas, or the large BlackHills Gas building that made me take away something important. I wish I could isolate feelings to a single event. It would be great if life worked that way, just wish for one thing to be undone, and then the isolated problem would go away. Like Marty McFly undoing one thing to result in a happy ending. Only, that isn’t life, that isn’t, how does Drake put it, “God’s Plan?” 
 
Life is more intricate than an isolated event, and even though there is typically a peak out among the rest that grabs our attention, like the largest, roundest peak on a way to a lost city of even more touristy items, all erosion contributes to the backdrop. It isn’t just one thing, but the one thing we choose to focus on. 

For my daughter, I remember what she saw. I remember the world through her eyes. I remember various family trips, only to return years later and wonder, "what happened?" This is why I wasn’t so excited for the trip my wife planned in the first place. Only because the memories of the Reptile Gardens, the Bear Country, the rolling terrain I recall in all their earthy beauty were so far left untouched. I was fearful it was all a sham and not only visiting these areas was going to be a sad reminder for me, but that my daughter was going to get bored thus forcing a mandatory parental aspect of discipline. 
 
Control Luke, control. I can only control me, and can’t worry about how another person responds to things. 
 
OK, so, the interactions in all accounts were more of a fascination for adults. My daughter was happy to stand, unbuckled going 5 miles an hour trying to catch the glimpse of a bear or two. I was hoping they would come to the window. Driving became a norm, as all events were a little distance from one another, and despite the Texas Roadhouse within walking distance from our hotel, of which we have one in our hometown, we traveled for what we wanted. 

This left only one thing to remind myself of on the way home. As my wife and I looked to each other and agreed it was time. She crawled in the back, dug out the Ipad and the uploaded Peppa Pig episodes I downloaded the night before our trip were finally put to use. It was our fail safe. The technology is our last resort. Why? More than just teaching character and how to deal with boredom, but because the world should be fascinating enough at pre-three-ish that lights and flashing pictures of a pig’s life should not be a requirement. I was reminded as I looked back in the rear view mirror, as my daughter placed the headphones on for the first time, despite seeing them the entire trip, this was as new as the bears roaming free and the snakes she pet at the snake show. My daughter gets to experience the world much like I did as a child, and it is only with experience what is called wisdom, that will change. 
 

I read somewhere that a child’s mind is like a constant psychedelic trip, everything new and fascinating. Adults lose this ability and lack the humility to accept God as the all-powerful father. My daughter acknowledged everyone the same, shy, but the same. Looked to animals and dinners as what they were. There was no indication as to the quality of food, of which she mostly wanted hot dogs, or what things cost in relation to other things. Adults however, we are supposed to know these things to be responsible and budget appropriately. But this same responsibility skews the most important aspect of life. The one thing people overlook on their journey to living a better life. People overlook what is right in front of them, and move on to the next, “better” thing, when there is no such guarantee. There is no promise of tomorrow or any moment past this one. Yet, we cling to this worldly hope and base our lives around it.
 
We want to look better, make more money, have more things, a better status, better relationships. Any and everything that both adds and improves our life. Yet, isn’t expectation setting us up for a failure and denying this current moment? If I am working for a promotion am I actually enjoying life, or am I denying what is available right now? The world says, or what I hear it say, is to keep striving, however, what happens if I thrive, now. Good things will come, yet what if they are already here?  
 
This moment is fleeting, and the next isn’t promised. What we have however is the unrelenting death, approaching closer, as though we are playing a game of Bop-It or Operation, just waiting for the sound, indicating game over. This part we can accept, making us more childlike in our approach, more wondrous, more accepting. It isn’t about sheer willpower to do better, but in what we choose to hold on to, to define this moment. I can look back at a daughter wearing headphones and think of tomorrow's troubles, or how she could be doing something more educational, looking at a book, or I can appreciate the fact that we had a trip together and that for this moment, we are all together. I pray I get more of these, but again, like a child, I have to live in this one now, doing the best I can. 

It is not a sad thought, but a freeing one. For we are all here, now. This passes. What does this life mean if we strive for the next best thing, promotion, attention, high? It means this world has us, the ego lied and sold us, Uncle Screwtape and his dear Wormwood were successful. That we succumbed to the mercy of the next thing to come along and relieve us. All the while, that next thing leaves us lower than the one before it. Maybe the best part of life is right here, and we missed it. Maybe we look where we shouldn’t and force something that isn’t? Maybe, my daughter teaches me more than I teach her? Maybe that is actually how it is supposed to be? 
 
Stay fascinated, stay humble, and remember that death comes for us all. What we leave behind can contribute to the generation after us, or it can leave them in the wake of destruction. 
 
Who would have thought such a touristy trip, full of all the cliché’ d South Dakota shot glasses and nostalgic t-shirts, Sturgis leftover apparel now 20% off, and painted coffee mugs of logos of the various activities could have taught me so much. Then again, I guess life is what we make of it, and I would gladly give mine if I knew it helped her. 
 
God Bless.

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