Solvent.

Chemical reaction or a
metaphor for life?

"Able to dissolve other substances."

Or, as a noun,

"the liquid in which a solute is dissolved to form a solution."

The all-encompassing substance that through osmosis a balance of concentration between inside and outside of the molecule become saturated, is useful for something as simple as making chocolate milk to a diluting a solution's concentration through the addition of a more neutral solvent like water to save a life.

The underlying human condition, or as a collective, what makes nations, groups, neighborhoods, the unmeasurable parts of society with it's convictions, desire to assist and grow, and self-sacrifice, is our solvent. It is not measured or given the credit when it comes to the solution. You will not hear someone say, "ah the human condition and the need to connect, really showed up to day to help ol' Betsy up the stairs." No, rather we give credit to the man or woman whom performed the task, giving them a nobility that to them is odd, for their brain only knew this.

Looking out the window on a particularly frigid morning, hugging the heated mug of coffee, looking at the snow determining the amount of extra time it will inevitably take to get to work this morning, as me much appreciate the garbage men outside taking away my family's waste. They see it as just doing their job, there is no personal intent behind getting my garbage, they do it because it is a living, a living that on this day may be particularly difficult. Yet, it is the human condition, the interconnected belief of a greater good, that has us connected. The garbage man works to make money to buy things for him or his family as much as I do. We both are the same and can feel connected by this similarity.

"Hey bud, you've got to go, the owner said so." I threw in the last part because I wanted this man to know that yea this sucks for both of us because we are both being told to do something.

"What, I didn't do anything!"

"I know man, I'm sorry." As I try to reassure him that this does in fact suck. The fact that by one request to a guy who was flirting with one of the bartenders who is quite flirty for tips and he who took it the wrong way.

Now I can tell the he isn't just being asked to leave a bar, he is being interrupted from making a good impression on what he thought was an interested bartender. From my view, he wasn't wrong, but the bar owner didn't like it, and it is his place, so who am I to argue. There might be a thousand other reasons why this guy is being asked to leave. This is how I justify my follow-through.

"Man, F*** this!" He screams at my chest. Once he stepped down from the step to the bar, he was quite a bit shorter, and the comical scene of him yelling at my upper pectoral muscles reinforces the pathetic display of this man's situation.

"What do you mean I have to go, she's interested..."

I can feel it from him. Not just the anger, but the hurt. The lost opportunity for love, due to something he didn't see as a problem. Him and I are connected now, for I am feeling his feelings, and I can look him in the eyes and tell him I get it, and that I will ask her if she is interested and get her number. At least this way he knows somebody connects with him, a solvent to an otherwise harsh reaction.

"Sorry man, she said no. She's a B**** anyways." I tell him the last part for his sake. I want him to easily walk away from this knowing it was for the best.

There are tiny specifics that allow for a larger result. However, a feeling of human connectedness often so abrupt, so apparent, we overlook and take for granted its ability to assist life as necessary. Without this connectedness some could refer to as "love" we would be like a bee hive without its queen. We would wander aimlessly from one area to the next without a sense of direction, a sense of purpose. We are not meant to live this way yet sometimes we don't put enough of ourselves, or our own contribution of solvent into the mix. We avoid and withhold ourselves from people, places, and things therefore reducing the effect not just on our own life, but on the lives of others.

Does it not benefit another person if I show up to the gathering? What about when there is a conversation in line at a gas station? What about when I drop off and pick my child up from daycare? Does it makes sense to "conserve" my energy and stay to myself, or does a pleasantry, a nicety make sense to contribute to the human connectedness? For another mom to know other people are here, and though we all have our own individual things for some reason, it is the togetherness and similarities shared that makes this world worth living in.

We all have a little that contributes to a lot. The solvent of the human connectedness is available by the ton, or gallon ton, (a liquid measure of a large amount). So let us not overlook its importance and get straight to the reaction, but let us appreciate what allows the reaction in the first place. Us and our being with another.

Body Image Disorders are so selfish and take from the larger pot of life. Withholding of self to engage in obsessive routines to take admiration, love, and resources to again, inject more into self, for even more of all of those things. Castle-Broken: When appearances are everything, available on Amazon. Click Here.

God Bless.