Burnt.

The browning effect (maillard reaction) is the caramelizing of meats through the pressure of heat. The more heat, the more brown, the less heat, the more time the browning takes. That savory, crisp of bacon as the pork’s own fat heats up and stores energy, encasing the meat in its own boiling oil, browning it to perfection. The same with a steak, burger, and better be a hot dog or brat, for the boiled versions of these are just upsetting. 

Dad, be like...."Burgers are done." 

What isn’t as savory and pleasing to Umami parts of the palate is friction of another kind. The kind of friction that only a vague relationship of acquaintances can create. It is not just the pressure in performing when it comes to a coworker or the stress in a passive-aggressive email, but the constant friction of a negative environment. When the comments aren’t direct, but in someone’s tone, or the words like chisels, carving the now-hardened exterior. When the gifts of celebration are so vague that they could have been given to anyone. When the lunches are non-existent, yet there is laughing down the hall. The seasons come and go, never a closeness formed, never a life outside of the job’s requirements.  These environmental elements have a way of turning up the heat, thus searing the rest of us. The insides are perfectly pink at first, but extreme conditions end up with charcoal outsides, a briquette of leftover carbon. It isn’t always the obvious either, for environments are focused on ways to improve satisfaction or quality, but yet, the cancerous beings, the ones who brought baggage and years of neglect from a parent to the table. This cannot be eradicated through policy, nor by a code, and the option of “weeding out” will pass over like a lawnmower blade on freshly cut grass. 

Negativity, like quality of skin or a history of high cholesterol, is such a given part of a person, that to think it will go away, or lack presentation in the office setting will leave people wishing until their dying day. Until the boss retires, until the last good coworker decides to leave, until the morale of the environment is that where only other toxic people can handle it. The good friends and family that try and assist are instead left reaching themselves as work takes its tole, as a person’s well being is just a few shades grayer than they could have been in a better environment. 

What can one do but suffer this inhumane cruelty, deteriorating the insides, while the outside shows us what only high amounts of friction is capable of. Can a person just be better, just do better, and is it the responsibility of the person who feels the negativity to carry the cross of positivity? For only one man carried a cross big enough for others, and he walked on water and rose again, you, me, us, we are not paid to do that, not here anyways. Maybe we are supposed to be the bright spots, doing God’s work in the areas that needed the most. Maybe that is the purpose we see in the pain. Maybe that is the proper intention, the only way to see it all, for our reward is in heaven. 

These were not mine, mine were, um dark meat. 

Yet, like the hot dogs I forgot on the grill this weekend, burnt up, charred to imperfection and fed to the dogs, sometimes occurrences take more out of us, than we had to give, and maybe an environment goes from tough to draining, and maybe it behooves us to look elsewhere. The gift here is resilience, appreciation, and gracefully stepping away, for sometimes there is more of a message in leaving than staying. Sometimes more can be shown in absence than when one lingers and sustains in the environment showing that in some way you must agree, or you need the paycheck. Either way, is your life worth any amount of money? Are you for sale at such a cheap price? 

Take a look at where you are and make a decision, only this time, you know what you want for this last relationship showed you what you didn’t. So, now, it is time to enjoy life, find what is supportive of your goals and go get it.  Boy, this one got a little too overdone. 


My book, Castle-Broken, When appearances are everything, available here. When you obsess over one aspect of life, it takes away all the good in others. 

God Bless.