Mario Kart 2018.
The re-release of Mario Kart for cell phones, proves that 2018 is the year for change. Finally, after all these years, all the changes for "good," along with all the broken promises and heartache, we have achieved the pinnacle of coming together.
Yes we can. Yes we did. And yes, America is great Again! All of this knowing full well that Mario Kart is a Nintendo game and thus Japanese technology supported. But who cares right, this is America, we can claim it if we want. After all, I bet that we had some Americans on the team, or at least supporting the project. We probably had some person telling the team to make Peach sexier, make Toad gay, and make Luigi actually Louise, therefore all political correctness can be displayed and therefore avoidance of any potential lawsuit having Nintendo paying millions for, "the next big scandal." Maybe Bowser could be Indian, Yoshi could be black, and Mario himself, the star of the show, could be a Jewish plumber.
There we have it, the same Nintendo characters with new and updated backgrounds fully adapted to 2018, with the influence of America of course. Instead of driving Karts they will be driving Chevy Volts, fully-sponsored with upgrades, having to charge them every other lap. Instead of banana peels and turtle shells coming out the back, in replacement for the typical emissions there will be Tide Pods and Kardashian makeup kits to slip you up. Instead of lightening to shrink you, free porn on cell phones will be tossed out the side to stun the drivers.
Yes, here in 2018, in America, we will make Mario Kart great again too. None of that old Nintendo 64 stuff, for that was the last reputable version in my book. This is a new age, a new day, and you can play this game anywhere with people from any country in the world (except some third-world countries, you know the ones with no running water or enough food to survive). As all the other developers on the team scoff at the Americans playing their games, drinking their sodas, eating their on-the-go meals making sure to not get any of the manufactured grease on the screen, they will secretly harvest jealousy on the inside. As the phone screens get bigger, Bibles get smaller, Facebook and Instagram profiles all vying for that illustrious Like or comment, takes place right in front of us, online, we will be driving a course, unchanged, reminding us of the power of nostalgia. Actually, this leaves another opportunity for revenue, pay to play, for you get the first two tracks for free, then the last 12 cost only $.99, genius marketing for grabbing a few extra hundred million in sales.
Yes, why would Nintendo develop a free game for a smart phone, despite great sales of the Switch (over 10 million last I checked)? Why would they take so long to develop an online app that sucks more data than the last, greatest data sucker the Pokemon Go app? Why in the world does Mario, Luigi, and the gang stay relevant since their games themselves haven't been near as successful as their predecessors?
A reminder exists as technology does what it does, growing like a plague, infesting our everyday life, consuming our time like it needs it to survive. This, while the physical self, along with the souls housed inside, are dying. As Mario and the gang continues to live, thriving on advertisements, we the people are not becoming, "great" in anyway but at a greater loss. We have missed the point, missed many opportunities, and in the future we will continue to miss the mark as we await the next "big thing."
Why would I even attempt an audacious post such as this, knocking one of the best games I have ever played in my life, having spent more time mastering tracks than obtaining my college degree, breaking numerous N64 controllers to beat my siblings? Well, that is because I too see the detriment a dependency on technology brings about. Why I would even know about this game becoming a cell phone app shows the severity in which our lives are infiltrated with entertainment and the point of work, the drive to succeed and contribute in society, seems to get over-looked and under-appreciated. What I am proposing here is that instead of a subdued video game player, we could be conveyors of the truth, looking more into the potential for nuclear war, understanding political and philosophical principals to further the knowledge threshold for the next generation. Focus is amiss at this point, for which I too am guilty, instead of the click-bait simulation of another app, open a book, challenge self in thought and discipline, and go against the grain in what is being presented as popular.
A book I wrote regarding body image disorder is for sale here. There are other books there too, but maybe you'd like more into my mind, maybe not, maybe I don't really care what you think, but in all fairness, I do, a lot.
God Bless.
Yes we can. Yes we did. And yes, America is great Again! All of this knowing full well that Mario Kart is a Nintendo game and thus Japanese technology supported. But who cares right, this is America, we can claim it if we want. After all, I bet that we had some Americans on the team, or at least supporting the project. We probably had some person telling the team to make Peach sexier, make Toad gay, and make Luigi actually Louise, therefore all political correctness can be displayed and therefore avoidance of any potential lawsuit having Nintendo paying millions for, "the next big scandal." Maybe Bowser could be Indian, Yoshi could be black, and Mario himself, the star of the show, could be a Jewish plumber.
There we have it, the same Nintendo characters with new and updated backgrounds fully adapted to 2018, with the influence of America of course. Instead of driving Karts they will be driving Chevy Volts, fully-sponsored with upgrades, having to charge them every other lap. Instead of banana peels and turtle shells coming out the back, in replacement for the typical emissions there will be Tide Pods and Kardashian makeup kits to slip you up. Instead of lightening to shrink you, free porn on cell phones will be tossed out the side to stun the drivers.
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| Make Mario Kart great again! |
Yes, why would Nintendo develop a free game for a smart phone, despite great sales of the Switch (over 10 million last I checked)? Why would they take so long to develop an online app that sucks more data than the last, greatest data sucker the Pokemon Go app? Why in the world does Mario, Luigi, and the gang stay relevant since their games themselves haven't been near as successful as their predecessors?
A reminder exists as technology does what it does, growing like a plague, infesting our everyday life, consuming our time like it needs it to survive. This, while the physical self, along with the souls housed inside, are dying. As Mario and the gang continues to live, thriving on advertisements, we the people are not becoming, "great" in anyway but at a greater loss. We have missed the point, missed many opportunities, and in the future we will continue to miss the mark as we await the next "big thing."
Why would I even attempt an audacious post such as this, knocking one of the best games I have ever played in my life, having spent more time mastering tracks than obtaining my college degree, breaking numerous N64 controllers to beat my siblings? Well, that is because I too see the detriment a dependency on technology brings about. Why I would even know about this game becoming a cell phone app shows the severity in which our lives are infiltrated with entertainment and the point of work, the drive to succeed and contribute in society, seems to get over-looked and under-appreciated. What I am proposing here is that instead of a subdued video game player, we could be conveyors of the truth, looking more into the potential for nuclear war, understanding political and philosophical principals to further the knowledge threshold for the next generation. Focus is amiss at this point, for which I too am guilty, instead of the click-bait simulation of another app, open a book, challenge self in thought and discipline, and go against the grain in what is being presented as popular.
A book I wrote regarding body image disorder is for sale here. There are other books there too, but maybe you'd like more into my mind, maybe not, maybe I don't really care what you think, but in all fairness, I do, a lot.
God Bless.
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