Temperament.
What is the one thing we all have, varies amongst us, and difficult to assess in isolated events? Our presentation is assumed to be based on our thoughts, desires, emotions, authentically being represented by our external actions. This assumption causes problems when trying to understand other people, or in many cases, strife in relationships. If you are the person who when they feel sad, they express sad, feel happy, express joy, or feel hungry, eat, then good for you, this isn't about you, but maybe about someone you know.
Temperament is our overall nature, in relation to how it affects our behavior. For instance, think of your boss. Think of how they are on a general basis. Are they calm, do they seem silly, are they angry, aggressive, negative? What one word would you pick out to generalize this person? What about your mom? What about your spouse? What one word would you use to describe their behaviors? Now, some of us might look at behaviors as something that a person does, when others look at the why of a persons actions, their motive. I may have an ulterior motive for doing one thing, but my outward behavior might depict another. For non-critical people, they will take me at my act. Others, a bit more critical, will identify that "yea, he did do that, but...." I might then take offense to those people, if I was able to understand my own motive, mostly because they, "figured me out." Those people and my feeling of dislike would stem from too much of me in them for us to get along organically.
When we see some of our worst qualities reflected back, we tend to not like that person, they agitate us in a unique way. I know when I see an overweight child crying over food, claiming to be, "starving" yet he only wants fast food, I am reminded of myself. As a child I was lazy, whiny, and by all definitions of the word, spoiled. I see these whiny behaviors in kids and adults these days and despise it. Simply because I know that little whiny, "why me" voice still lingers in there, but I have to smash him quick. This last part takes practice, something I do all the time. Maybe I am not so lazy after all.
It is hard to identify our own temperament because we don't see all the characteristics we display to others, therefore affecting their interpretation of us. I know that I am inwardly negative and have a temperament of overall irritability, though I wouldn't guess other people see that or would feel that way. I have a history of not letting anyone get close enough to see these parts of me, exposing my facade. Once someone realizes the jerk I really am, they will be gone like lightening. (my thoughts anyway)
So, a temperament is significant in interactions. I know that I like people that agree with me based on either their cohesiveness with my being or even now, their antagonism to natural self. I like to talk to people that listen (don't we all), because they seem authentic. They seem to consider themselves less and what I have to say more, so I walk away satisfied with the conversation. I see a lot of this temperament in listeners as peaceful, content, intrigued and overall satisfaction in life. I see the people who simply have to present, agree, or interrupt as stressed, competitive, arrogant (at times), someone who just cannot let you give them any information without them already saying, "Yea, I know," or "Oh, I have a friend who is a doctor of the world and he says...." Am I guilty of the second type? Yup. Am I working on internal thoughts and feelings to be at enough peace to listen to what people have to say at the sacrifice of my self? Yup. Am I very good at it? Externally, yes. Internally, sometimes a struggle, especially when certain temperaments arise.
Unfortunately, just because you decided to work on identifying your behaviors, doesn't mean anyone else will.
For a look inside the mind of someone who suffered from their own chains of temperament check out the latest book. Here.
Temperament is our overall nature, in relation to how it affects our behavior. For instance, think of your boss. Think of how they are on a general basis. Are they calm, do they seem silly, are they angry, aggressive, negative? What one word would you pick out to generalize this person? What about your mom? What about your spouse? What one word would you use to describe their behaviors? Now, some of us might look at behaviors as something that a person does, when others look at the why of a persons actions, their motive. I may have an ulterior motive for doing one thing, but my outward behavior might depict another. For non-critical people, they will take me at my act. Others, a bit more critical, will identify that "yea, he did do that, but...." I might then take offense to those people, if I was able to understand my own motive, mostly because they, "figured me out." Those people and my feeling of dislike would stem from too much of me in them for us to get along organically.
When we see some of our worst qualities reflected back, we tend to not like that person, they agitate us in a unique way. I know when I see an overweight child crying over food, claiming to be, "starving" yet he only wants fast food, I am reminded of myself. As a child I was lazy, whiny, and by all definitions of the word, spoiled. I see these whiny behaviors in kids and adults these days and despise it. Simply because I know that little whiny, "why me" voice still lingers in there, but I have to smash him quick. This last part takes practice, something I do all the time. Maybe I am not so lazy after all.
It is hard to identify our own temperament because we don't see all the characteristics we display to others, therefore affecting their interpretation of us. I know that I am inwardly negative and have a temperament of overall irritability, though I wouldn't guess other people see that or would feel that way. I have a history of not letting anyone get close enough to see these parts of me, exposing my facade. Once someone realizes the jerk I really am, they will be gone like lightening. (my thoughts anyway)
So, a temperament is significant in interactions. I know that I like people that agree with me based on either their cohesiveness with my being or even now, their antagonism to natural self. I like to talk to people that listen (don't we all), because they seem authentic. They seem to consider themselves less and what I have to say more, so I walk away satisfied with the conversation. I see a lot of this temperament in listeners as peaceful, content, intrigued and overall satisfaction in life. I see the people who simply have to present, agree, or interrupt as stressed, competitive, arrogant (at times), someone who just cannot let you give them any information without them already saying, "Yea, I know," or "Oh, I have a friend who is a doctor of the world and he says...." Am I guilty of the second type? Yup. Am I working on internal thoughts and feelings to be at enough peace to listen to what people have to say at the sacrifice of my self? Yup. Am I very good at it? Externally, yes. Internally, sometimes a struggle, especially when certain temperaments arise.
Unfortunately, just because you decided to work on identifying your behaviors, doesn't mean anyone else will.
For a look inside the mind of someone who suffered from their own chains of temperament check out the latest book. Here.
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