Always a Parent.
"Trick or Treat."
"Yes, good, say that. We knock and we say that."
My coaching is weak, I don't think I ever said "trick or treat" when I was a kid, probably just a "hello."
But us fathers want our children to be better than us right? So, the follow through, the delivery, that is what has to happen here.
Let's see if she sticks the landing.
"Look at them run up there."
A few houses in and a neighbor and new friend of our daughters are together, no longer needing an adult to guide, but convince each other this is safe, this is what we do.
"Did you say thank you?" I ask my daughter,
"Thank you." She says to a now-shut door.
"Sweetheart, let's say thank you to them."
"Ok."
The walk from one house to the next started slow, apprehensive, turned into a slight jog for the children, then a run from the house almost going into the street. A few falls, a couple crashes and lost goodies, no matter, we are feeling good.
Eventually the run, the screams and laughter, the holding hands from neighbor boy and our daughter slow to a crawl, a desire to be held, a desire to simply, "go home."
We are teaching our children that neighbors, and other people are OK, even when we also teach them strangers might not. It is a fine balance of life to both love and remain apprehensive for safety purposes. Yet, as parents, we try.
The pulling of the wagon, a good choice by neighbor mom, the physical act by neighbor dad, is how we end this holiday evening. As the darkness and cool temperature consume us, an hour and a half of walking, we are all very spent, and go our separate ways as we enter our two driveways. The crossroads of them to us. Our daughter, alone now, starts to cry.
"Just in time." I tell my wife, as we come to the finish line, exhausted, ravished for food. Our daughter tasted a sucker and now this has consumed her.
"But I want it!"
"Sweetheart, you have to come up with a better argument than that." I am coaching again. A little tip from an adult who realizes that if want is the only reason, it is an expendable one.
"Here, let's make a deal."
"No! No deal!"
"Listen, just drink some of this milk and then you can have the sucker."
In the midst of crying she says "OK" as though she lost her puppy but I promised I would find it.
She wanders over by her mom and godparent sitting at the table analyzing the goodies collected.
"A full bar?"
"Yea, and the other house gave her a personalized cookie"
The neighbors bought specific treats for us and the neighbor's children, an impact we must have made around here. That, or they can hear our children's screams and wondering who is getting the best of who and this is their sacrifice.
"Done."
She gets her sucker from mom.
"Did she drink all of that?"
I shake the cup, "Hey, there's still..."
I stop mid sentence, she's not coming back, the sucker has her now.
"Sweetheart, let me put on some Peppa Pig for just a few minutes while we get ready for bed."
"Ok." She says with excitement.
Sitting on the couch, enjoying her sucker, enjoying the child-pig and her other animals friends, and the 5-minute story lines, she is entranced. She is both stimulated by sucker, which she has eyeballed all week, but we have convinced for other candies due to both longevity of sucker and potential mess for constantly touching it and dog, it and floor, it on floor, cry, cry, cry, I could see it in my nightmares. "How about a snickers instead," A quick bite, gone. We have modern technology and the hyper sweetness of food that are our stimulants now, when she was younger it was fruit and a ball.
As we grow our demand becomes more, our stimulation threshold increases. It is up to us as parents, and then as adults to remain aware of such things. A balance, between love and hate, neighbors as friends and the potential danger of strangers. We love the seasons, hate the excess, we love the memories, hate the sickness that comes with either a credit card bill or too many cookies, too much candy, too much time. What a TV and Candy binge can provide is a mimicry of what we don't want, an entrancement where one wakes and asks, "Huh?" all the while we missed a step somewhere, our balance is off, we regret a decision, only to see that we made this based on what we knew, what we continued to progress and deviate from.
This is not in this moment, this is balance. Though the thought may seem a bit extreme for a Halloween evening, I can't help but be a parent, a coach here too. Aware of life and its ups and downs. For this moment, given to us, is definitely an UP.
God Bless.
"Yes, good, say that. We knock and we say that."
My coaching is weak, I don't think I ever said "trick or treat" when I was a kid, probably just a "hello."
But us fathers want our children to be better than us right? So, the follow through, the delivery, that is what has to happen here.
Let's see if she sticks the landing.
...
"Look at them run up there."
A few houses in and a neighbor and new friend of our daughters are together, no longer needing an adult to guide, but convince each other this is safe, this is what we do.
"Did you say thank you?" I ask my daughter,
"Thank you." She says to a now-shut door.
"Sweetheart, let's say thank you to them."
"Ok."
The walk from one house to the next started slow, apprehensive, turned into a slight jog for the children, then a run from the house almost going into the street. A few falls, a couple crashes and lost goodies, no matter, we are feeling good.
Eventually the run, the screams and laughter, the holding hands from neighbor boy and our daughter slow to a crawl, a desire to be held, a desire to simply, "go home."
We are teaching our children that neighbors, and other people are OK, even when we also teach them strangers might not. It is a fine balance of life to both love and remain apprehensive for safety purposes. Yet, as parents, we try.
 |
| "OK, we need to hit this house, than this one... yes, good." |
...
The pulling of the wagon, a good choice by neighbor mom, the physical act by neighbor dad, is how we end this holiday evening. As the darkness and cool temperature consume us, an hour and a half of walking, we are all very spent, and go our separate ways as we enter our two driveways. The crossroads of them to us. Our daughter, alone now, starts to cry.
"Just in time." I tell my wife, as we come to the finish line, exhausted, ravished for food. Our daughter tasted a sucker and now this has consumed her.
"But I want it!"
"Sweetheart, you have to come up with a better argument than that." I am coaching again. A little tip from an adult who realizes that if want is the only reason, it is an expendable one.
"Here, let's make a deal."
"No! No deal!"
"Listen, just drink some of this milk and then you can have the sucker."
In the midst of crying she says "OK" as though she lost her puppy but I promised I would find it.
She wanders over by her mom and godparent sitting at the table analyzing the goodies collected.
"A full bar?"
"Yea, and the other house gave her a personalized cookie"
The neighbors bought specific treats for us and the neighbor's children, an impact we must have made around here. That, or they can hear our children's screams and wondering who is getting the best of who and this is their sacrifice.
 |
| "Uh, they got two suckers?" |
She gets her sucker from mom.
"Did she drink all of that?"
I shake the cup, "Hey, there's still..."
I stop mid sentence, she's not coming back, the sucker has her now.
"Sweetheart, let me put on some Peppa Pig for just a few minutes while we get ready for bed."
"Ok." She says with excitement.
Sitting on the couch, enjoying her sucker, enjoying the child-pig and her other animals friends, and the 5-minute story lines, she is entranced. She is both stimulated by sucker, which she has eyeballed all week, but we have convinced for other candies due to both longevity of sucker and potential mess for constantly touching it and dog, it and floor, it on floor, cry, cry, cry, I could see it in my nightmares. "How about a snickers instead," A quick bite, gone. We have modern technology and the hyper sweetness of food that are our stimulants now, when she was younger it was fruit and a ball.
As we grow our demand becomes more, our stimulation threshold increases. It is up to us as parents, and then as adults to remain aware of such things. A balance, between love and hate, neighbors as friends and the potential danger of strangers. We love the seasons, hate the excess, we love the memories, hate the sickness that comes with either a credit card bill or too many cookies, too much candy, too much time. What a TV and Candy binge can provide is a mimicry of what we don't want, an entrancement where one wakes and asks, "Huh?" all the while we missed a step somewhere, our balance is off, we regret a decision, only to see that we made this based on what we knew, what we continued to progress and deviate from.
This is not in this moment, this is balance. Though the thought may seem a bit extreme for a Halloween evening, I can't help but be a parent, a coach here too. Aware of life and its ups and downs. For this moment, given to us, is definitely an UP.
God Bless.
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