W.A.I.T.
The topic was open for discussion, I figured I would weigh in. I felt safe enough to present my case, what I had seen and what had rolled around in my head justifying my need to say something.
An acronym I had seen once on a business meeting room where "serious" meetings were held. I am a counselor, we have no need to, W.A.I.T. for we are in the business of talking, making inferences, spewing our selves and perceptions out to filter the chunks of verbal vomit.
Here, in this lesser-sophisticated office setting there is currently a debate going on between a boss and her employee. Luckily, she does not see this difference in rank, she sees a person with a differing opinion, one that she doesn't agree with, yet one she will oblige. For that last part I am grateful, for we all want a stage some of the time.
"Look, I am just saying that when it comes to this business, I think we can look at it another way..."
The conversation ensues.
"I don't think that..."
A rebuttal.
(A feeling of discounted facts as I remind myself that we are both on the same side, fighting for what is best for the clients we work with)
Deep Breath now...
It is funny to me, how we have so many discussions in life, or in a day, where we lose track of our logic and respond with an emotion. Like when a coworker has to, "vent" where after wards they feel more angered, more saddened, and even more conviction. This was not, "letting off steam," this was a pep rally for your argument, not a processing session. In that instance, a person loses themselves and their perspective on the WHY of the original acronym.
We talk to one another to convey a message, to tell a story, to share information for some purpose, not to just test the air through the vocal cords and the minds ability to form words. We talk and when someone else display of their feelings comes out through the vibration of vocal cords, then we interpret this and determine, in a split second, our response. Through a life of experience, that "filter" in which we hear something can either enable us to respond one way or another. If you are a person who feels low self-worth based as far back as a mom who didn't listen, a father who expected performance, subtle inconsistencies, then what you hear in a disagreement is competition where you must thrash and gnaw to get out, for you are being killed to an already low self-worth. Now, if that same disagreement happens to someone who feels confident, they are able to hear and respect the perspective of the other side.
People presenting their opinions and the facts, as they see it, or something that might be true that only they know, is a gift. Our minds can only do so much on their own, that we need other people to share their perspectives and their opinions, otherwise we would have the same rigid thoughts day in and day out.
Viewing a disagreement can be a fascinating thing if you take the emotion out of it, or taking the YOU out of it. "This isn't about YOU," a commonly held belief that provokes emotion by making something personalized that was never intended to be that way. When feelings start getting hurt, through either the motive for the conversation or the interpretation of the conversation, then a conversation declines, and we are no longer, W.A.I.T. ing for a proper processing.
What we can do is identify our underlying self and why we might feel this way or that. It is worth the investment so that we are not indulging the ignorant belief of, "I will simply do better next time." The reason is because you will still see you in the argument and take whatever is said personally and feel the exact same emotions. By working oil self and identifying that, "This isn't about you," you can really become the master of the debate, or in other words you can be the master d.......
For other things from my perspective and a story about my body image disorders and how it affects men in very detrimental ways, my book, Castle-Broken, is available HERE.
God Bless.
W.-Why
A.-Am
I.-I
T.-Talking?
An acronym I had seen once on a business meeting room where "serious" meetings were held. I am a counselor, we have no need to, W.A.I.T. for we are in the business of talking, making inferences, spewing our selves and perceptions out to filter the chunks of verbal vomit.
Here, in this lesser-sophisticated office setting there is currently a debate going on between a boss and her employee. Luckily, she does not see this difference in rank, she sees a person with a differing opinion, one that she doesn't agree with, yet one she will oblige. For that last part I am grateful, for we all want a stage some of the time.
 |
| "Damnit Becky, why are you so stupid when things don't go your way..." |
"Look, I am just saying that when it comes to this business, I think we can look at it another way..."
The conversation ensues.
"I don't think that..."
A rebuttal.
(A feeling of discounted facts as I remind myself that we are both on the same side, fighting for what is best for the clients we work with)
Deep Breath now...
It is funny to me, how we have so many discussions in life, or in a day, where we lose track of our logic and respond with an emotion. Like when a coworker has to, "vent" where after wards they feel more angered, more saddened, and even more conviction. This was not, "letting off steam," this was a pep rally for your argument, not a processing session. In that instance, a person loses themselves and their perspective on the WHY of the original acronym.
 |
| High five bro... |
We talk to one another to convey a message, to tell a story, to share information for some purpose, not to just test the air through the vocal cords and the minds ability to form words. We talk and when someone else display of their feelings comes out through the vibration of vocal cords, then we interpret this and determine, in a split second, our response. Through a life of experience, that "filter" in which we hear something can either enable us to respond one way or another. If you are a person who feels low self-worth based as far back as a mom who didn't listen, a father who expected performance, subtle inconsistencies, then what you hear in a disagreement is competition where you must thrash and gnaw to get out, for you are being killed to an already low self-worth. Now, if that same disagreement happens to someone who feels confident, they are able to hear and respect the perspective of the other side.
People presenting their opinions and the facts, as they see it, or something that might be true that only they know, is a gift. Our minds can only do so much on their own, that we need other people to share their perspectives and their opinions, otherwise we would have the same rigid thoughts day in and day out.
Viewing a disagreement can be a fascinating thing if you take the emotion out of it, or taking the YOU out of it. "This isn't about YOU," a commonly held belief that provokes emotion by making something personalized that was never intended to be that way. When feelings start getting hurt, through either the motive for the conversation or the interpretation of the conversation, then a conversation declines, and we are no longer, W.A.I.T. ing for a proper processing.
What we can do is identify our underlying self and why we might feel this way or that. It is worth the investment so that we are not indulging the ignorant belief of, "I will simply do better next time." The reason is because you will still see you in the argument and take whatever is said personally and feel the exact same emotions. By working oil self and identifying that, "This isn't about you," you can really become the master of the debate, or in other words you can be the master d.......For other things from my perspective and a story about my body image disorders and how it affects men in very detrimental ways, my book, Castle-Broken, is available HERE.
God Bless.
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