Hum...Hum...Humiliation.
When I was in college I wet the bed one time.
There, I said it.
What'd I learn from it? Well, nothing. It was a thing, it happened, I felt embarrassed and hid my soiled sheets from my roommate. I did laundry early that morning for fear of a smell occurring.
"I just felt like doing some laundry." My response to an 8AM question of why I was up so early.
Embarrassing things happen all the time. To some of us that threshold is much lower than others. Some people seem to be able to walk around with a ripped crotch as though their shirt is simply untucked. Others, the wind blows their hair in the wrong direction (against the natural lie) and all day they feel people are staring at their "bird's nest."
What is it about this threshold that when passed we cannot do much else besides think of what this will mean? Why does embarrassment serve us the way it does? Why must we experience what I can closely relate as pain from the humiliation we encounter at some point in our lives?
The shortened version, or what I could assume to be the reasoning for humiliation, is to be humble. Pride seems to be a cancer in life, so the remedy is to be humble, which I guess requires humiliation to get to, right?
"I come from humble beginnings." This to mean that the environment wasn't anything worth bragging about. Which is assuming that the environment is of the poorer class. Which means that value comes from wealth and it can be humiliating to admit we were not born into that class. What if we were to go to a 3rd world country and talk of our upbringing, would we still call our environment "humble?" Isn't the word and the environment based on some context at the time? An environment remembered in one way should be remembered the same way no matter where or who you are presenting to, correct?
As people starving across the world would agree, no upbringing in America is humble, for even at the worst there is still a safety net of assistance, somewhere.
Comparison's aside, the reason humiliation being brought up in that context was to recognize that we have control over what causes embarrassment and why. This, not necessarily just in our conscious mind, but derived from the ideas in the subconscious, where we store our core beliefs and concepts of value in life. What we find humble or humiliation in one context is appreciation and glorified in another. A child struggling with reading a Bible in a public school setting feels comforted in church. A person who binges alone, struggles in public. However, when around similar friends, overeating is supported, even glorified.
Humiliation, as painful as it is, is very much needed to remind us to remain humble. Humility combats pride and therefore remains a virtue, so it is very much necessary. What is not necessary is to experience the shame and guilt, more long-term, detrimental emotions when we are humiliated. We are merely taking a single instance, a situation out of context and experiencing the pain of humiliation at that time, versus anything that corrodes who we are as a person (shame and guilt).
Even shame and guilt have their place, much like humiliation, they remind us of humility and our intended path and the deviation from that path. All good things essentially. The problem is what we allow these, at times, intense emotions to control. Do we avoid people, places, things, for the fragile self of possibly being humiliated? Do we stay in when others go out? Do we avoid people in general for they might see through our facade and trigger the embarrassment we inevitably feel on a regular basis? Do we avoid eating in front of others for we think their thoughts are on us as though some magical force affects our well-being?
Humiliation, shame, guilt, pain, pride, all have their place. The important thing to remember is that not every environment is their place. Experience the emotion at the time, feel it, learn from it, tolerate it, learn how to make it yours. After all, the human body subconsciously knows what to do better than our conscious self can. If you do not agree, the next time you go unconscious aka sleep, think about all the functions that exist without you being aware.
Shame and humiliation were some of my biggest triggers to engage in pain avoidance through over compensation. For my story, or if anyone you know could benefit, refer this to them. Click Here.
There, I said it.
What'd I learn from it? Well, nothing. It was a thing, it happened, I felt embarrassed and hid my soiled sheets from my roommate. I did laundry early that morning for fear of a smell occurring.
"I just felt like doing some laundry." My response to an 8AM question of why I was up so early.
Embarrassing things happen all the time. To some of us that threshold is much lower than others. Some people seem to be able to walk around with a ripped crotch as though their shirt is simply untucked. Others, the wind blows their hair in the wrong direction (against the natural lie) and all day they feel people are staring at their "bird's nest."
What is it about this threshold that when passed we cannot do much else besides think of what this will mean? Why does embarrassment serve us the way it does? Why must we experience what I can closely relate as pain from the humiliation we encounter at some point in our lives?
The shortened version, or what I could assume to be the reasoning for humiliation, is to be humble. Pride seems to be a cancer in life, so the remedy is to be humble, which I guess requires humiliation to get to, right?
"I come from humble beginnings." This to mean that the environment wasn't anything worth bragging about. Which is assuming that the environment is of the poorer class. Which means that value comes from wealth and it can be humiliating to admit we were not born into that class. What if we were to go to a 3rd world country and talk of our upbringing, would we still call our environment "humble?" Isn't the word and the environment based on some context at the time? An environment remembered in one way should be remembered the same way no matter where or who you are presenting to, correct?
As people starving across the world would agree, no upbringing in America is humble, for even at the worst there is still a safety net of assistance, somewhere.
 |
| A rare glimpse at my old "beater" from high school. |
Comparison's aside, the reason humiliation being brought up in that context was to recognize that we have control over what causes embarrassment and why. This, not necessarily just in our conscious mind, but derived from the ideas in the subconscious, where we store our core beliefs and concepts of value in life. What we find humble or humiliation in one context is appreciation and glorified in another. A child struggling with reading a Bible in a public school setting feels comforted in church. A person who binges alone, struggles in public. However, when around similar friends, overeating is supported, even glorified.
Humiliation, as painful as it is, is very much needed to remind us to remain humble. Humility combats pride and therefore remains a virtue, so it is very much necessary. What is not necessary is to experience the shame and guilt, more long-term, detrimental emotions when we are humiliated. We are merely taking a single instance, a situation out of context and experiencing the pain of humiliation at that time, versus anything that corrodes who we are as a person (shame and guilt).
Even shame and guilt have their place, much like humiliation, they remind us of humility and our intended path and the deviation from that path. All good things essentially. The problem is what we allow these, at times, intense emotions to control. Do we avoid people, places, things, for the fragile self of possibly being humiliated? Do we stay in when others go out? Do we avoid people in general for they might see through our facade and trigger the embarrassment we inevitably feel on a regular basis? Do we avoid eating in front of others for we think their thoughts are on us as though some magical force affects our well-being?
 |
| "If I take another piece, will people notice? |
Shame and humiliation were some of my biggest triggers to engage in pain avoidance through over compensation. For my story, or if anyone you know could benefit, refer this to them. Click Here.
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