Insidious Adaptation

What happens when it’s all gone, taken away like the heart in your chest? When what you once were is no more? How do we keep advancing in the face of pointlessness? When we identify ourselves as something of value, whether it be a job title, an achievement, our style, our spirituality, service work, when that "thing" goes away? If we choose it to go away because we are now devoted to another definition, then that seems to be a smoother transition. What happens when we don’t choose it, when it is taken from us? The body has an expiration date, something we were made aware of as soon as we became aware. Death is a lingering curtain on our stage waiting to drop at any moment. Some get the slow closing of the final goodbye, many get an immediate shut. The curtain closing isn’t the problem, it is when the physical self defines us and it is when this thing starts to expire more than grow.  Aesthetically pleasing bodies are definitely something to look at. They grab our att...

When I watch my daughter play with her toys I am able to see a side of myself in her response. Unfortunately, the most I see of me in her is in the negative responses, the ones where she becomes upset when things do not go as she expected them to. Even the seemingly difficult to understand situations such as saying she wanted a car, only to give her the car and have her cry. I am not that surprised however, I know she wanted the car in another way, like being lifted up to get the car herself. I know this because I am this. We both appear to want something, but it’s not the thing we want, but the manner in which we obtain that thing. I am as particular in my mind as she presents in her temper tantrums. I give a face as though I am confused in these behaviors to my wife to validate the ridiculousness of it all, however there is a part of me, inside, deep in there, that gets it. I get why she’s upset just like we all might at one point or another when something that we expected with a ce...

Sitting in traffic, on my way to work, I couldn’t help but notice, out of the corner of my eye, in the long line of taillights and what appeared to be disgruntled employees headed off to their place of work, the change from Red to Green on the traffic light. It sounds odd, however, the change is not a subtle one, but a strong contradiction from one indication to “Stop,” to the allowance of “Go.” Even with all the chaos of people, distraction of my own upcoming busy day, the images of buildings already full, people walking on the side walk, a women in her car with her gloves and hat still on as though the 30 degrees outside isn’t enough to keep her warm, the light change grabs my attention with such ferocity it would have hit me if I had been any closer.   The green lights are the most intriguing for we are in place prior to seeing it, or we are racing towards the intersection with the hope the light changes on time so we do not have to pump the brakes. A little game I play is ...

My insides crawl when I see you. I see you over there on that bench, with your new workout gear, your matching headphones on head and a slump about you that tells me just enough. Sadly, you are just like me. I can see it from a mile away. You sit up like you are arrogant, but yet, you have a little curvature and shifty eyes that tell me otherwise. You have not yet learned how to control the eye movements. How to look with the peripherals. You focus directly on targets. Targets that you feel will make YOU better. You disgust me, for you give us away. You tell the world that we, despite our external presentations, are weak and need something, somebody, to be good enough. I know the look, even the familiarity with your environment. You are not new here, you come here every day. You figured out a long time ago that going to the gym, sacrificing a little bit of indulgence to look better, will make you better. Sure, it did what you thought it would, you definitely feel confident enough in...

What is the one thing we all have, varies amongst us, and difficult to assess in isolated events? Our presentation is assumed to be based on our thoughts, desires, emotions, authentically being represented by our external actions. This assumption causes problems when trying to understand other people, or in many cases, strife in relationships. If you are the person who when they feel sad, they express sad, feel happy, express joy, or feel hungry, eat, then good for you, this isn't about you, but maybe about someone you know. Temperament is our overall nature, in relation to how it affects our behavior. For instance, think of your boss. Think of how they are on a general basis. Are they calm, do they seem silly, are they angry, aggressive, negative? What one word would you pick out to generalize this person? What about your mom? What about your spouse? What one word would you use to describe their behaviors? Now, some of us might look at behaviors as something that a person does...

“Damnit!” This as my U-Haul truck crunches into the front cover of the turn signal on the industrial work van.  “Go figure.” I say to myself, working on my cussing.  Panic now starts to wash over me, as this once arrogant handing of a 25 foot U-Haul is sandwiched between two work vans, one of which has been damaged. As I continue to pull forward, I look in the oversized, and rusty-rimmed side mirror to see, in fact, that the U-Haul is going to continue to scrape where the light protector used to be no matter which direction I go.  Old physics lessons play in my head, trajectory and all that, stuff I can only recall learning about while playing pool, more than any class. OK, if I turn the wheel this way, I can alter the trajectory of the back end, CRUUNCH, OK, that actually did the opposite. Now I will turn the other way.  SCCCRAAAPPPE. Ah, now I am into a tree on the other side of the bottleneck to the cul- de- sack. OK, OK, now if I drive a little...

A “drug” is identified as, “ any substance that, when inhaled, injected, smoked, consumed, absorbed via a patch on the skin, or dissolved under the tongue causes a temporary physiological change in the body.” A Wikipedia reference, for I have my own opinions as to how the confines of definition discounts many other more potent agonists of chemical release.  Drugs get a bad rap overall. They are painted as either lacing the street corner with poverty and bad decisions, or the corrupt doctor that over prescribes to subdue over-whiny patients. Yet, they can be Great again, as they once were. We must remember that over exposure and over reliance on things tends to corrupt their appeal, when in reality, they are very much necessary. After all, the same drugs that one can abuse in a basement one can get in a hospital to help tolerate pain or allow a delicate surgical procedure to occur without interference. Other drugs relax and calm when otherwise the sufferer might react and harm...